You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

I want to be happy again. I want to be optimistic and innocent like I used to, but something inside of me changed after I had my heart broken so many times. Something in me just gave up and I stopped caring. I stopped trying, and eventually, I stopped loving. I used to feel jealous every time I see cute teen couples holding hands together and stuff. But now, I feel nothing? Hmm. And oh, I really don't know why, but I get annoyed pretty quickly when a guy tries to sweet talk me or just to talk to me. Maybe my heart is completely closed? I don't know. I’m pretty much puzzled with myself right now. So, I’ll tell you about it later once I’ve got it all figured out okay ? Ttyl.

Mental Breakdown

Do you know that when a boy breaks a girl's heart, its much, much, much more than you know it affected her? Her tears are not only to show how much it hurts, but to at least try to blur out the world so she can forget? That she thinks every sleeping and waking moment what the hell did she did wrong? That when she looks at the photographs of you with her, she tries to tear it but can't because they reminds her of beautiful memories you both had? That she can't throw away the teddy bear and carefully preserved chocolate you gave her because you gave it to her? And whenever she thinks of the "I love you" words, she thinks of you and mutters "I love you, too" but then realizes she can't say it out loud to you any longer? That it feels like watching the whole world crashing before her very eyes? No. Of course you don't know what it feels like. You don't know how it feels to be cheated, to be left, to be fooled. And it’s taken very seriously because, once she falls in love with you, there's no way in hell she'll fall out of the love without any proper closure.

I Need Faith

I have learnt a lot about life even though I'm just sixteen. I learn that life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends. You gain friends. You realize your friend wasn’t ever really your friend, and that person you used to hate can make a really good friend. You look for love. You find love. You lose love. You realize all long that you’ve been loved. You laugh. You cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn’t done that. You then learn from that and are glad that you did. You have your ups. You have your downs. You see good movies. You see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and are glad that you’re you. You love life. You hate life. In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life, no matter what’s thrown at you.

Oh btw, I think I'm giving up on boys/men/males, ughh whatever. I'm trying my best to channel all my focus on my studies starting on now onwards. I'm tired of building my hopes up and opening my heart to someone and later gets my heart broken over and over again. I'm tired of all the drama and the tears. Haihh I think I'm going to stop here, before I have another emotional break down today.
So goodnight everyone. May God bless us all.

Lip Lock

Sorry for not updating for awhile now. I've been very lazy to open this blog as I'm usually online-ing from my blackberry. Anyway, I find it strange how you fall in love with someone, then later, out of it. Then after sometime, you start to wonder When, How, and Why the heck did you even you love that person. And it's kind of peculiar because, once you're out, you're on a whole new journey and adventure. It's like breathing fresh air for the first time. You see the world in a new way, like you're viewing the world from other person's point of view. You start to realize what you were missing. You never really noticed that you lost yourself when you were with that person. And now, once you realize, you're starting to regain back the old you. The person, you used to be. Right now, you are somehow grateful that it happened, that the 'love' is over now, because you start loving this new adventure of trying to find who you really are, finding the missing pieces that you lost in the blindness of love for that person, and rebuilding yourself again. True facts okay. I figured out about this first hand alright.

Oh oh, the fasting month is here ! YAYYY ! I mean, its not confirmed yet, as we need to hear the official announcement but I got a feeling its tomorrow. Hihi. Anyhow, my dentist appointment is in an hour. So, that's it for now. I'll blog later okay. Take care my babies.

Self Conscious

Even though all you’ve done is change since we last talked,
I still love you <3

Anyway, its been a few days since I last updated my blog. I was very busy with school stuffs. So last Friday night was my school’s Prefects Annual Dinner. I didn’t dress to impress so yeah, I looked erm, okay I guess ? Fyi boys, girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked at all times. Hihi. The performances was literally mind blowing. The form 3’s show was so cool with their glow-in-the-dark bangles while the form 5’s performance was a tiny bit scary at the beginning but their performances were really awesome. Anyway, the dinner was superb. I will definitely remember that night for quite some time and it will be hard for the form 3's to top that one off next year. Its Monday today, and I’m already worn-out. I even slept in class for the most part of the day -.- The highlight of the day was really when my transport lady didn’t pick me and my sister back from school. Therefore, both of us had to walk home with our heavy backpacks on our shoulders under the blazing hot sun.

I think I’m gonna take a quick nap now, so sayonara peps.